Please don’t mistake self criticism for the “work”

I know that desire to produce more, offer better, get stronger, be useful, make shit happen.

I know it well.

That desire to make a meaningful life and look happy/skinny/smart/rich/relaxed while doing it used to wake me up like 5,000 demons every morning.

I love working hard, producing good content, being a supportive friend, offering deep teachings, and oh, did I say working hard? {I really love hard work…}

So if you feel like that too, trust me, I hear you.

But please, learn from my example if it is useful.

When you are “working hard” because you don’t feel like you are good enough otherwise, any awesome contribution you make to the world will carry that feeling of lack with it.

When you are creating, producing, helping, and improving because of 5,000 angry demons pulling you out of bed every morning, you are going to burn yourself out really quick. {Just listen to the girl who had a decade of disordered eating and two major hip surgeries under her belt before age 24…}

Growing up, maturing,  and deepening our self awareness and practice IS work. And a lot of it.

But please do not confuse self-criticism as doing your “inner work”.

Remember that perfectionism is another form of procrastination.

And get to work.

The good kind.

The kind that involves recognizing and allowing what is most true for you right now.

You’ve heard me say before, “The deepest self care practice is the one in which you consistently hold space for yourself, and recognize and allow what is.”

And I’m saying it again so that you really start to hear me.

Please don’t beat up on yourself, and think that will make you better tomorrow. It won’t. It will make you tired. {Tweet me…}

Please stop wasting your own time {and everyone else’s} by being hard on yourself and calling it self-improvement. The world needs what you have to offer too much to waste your energy hating yourself.

So get to work please. The good kind.

Share with me my loves:: Am I alone in this? Or anyone else have 5,000 demons waking them up every morning telling them to be better?

7 Responses to “Please don’t mistake self criticism for the “work””

  1. Leah Slagenwhite

    This post speaks to me on a deep level. I have hustled for my worthiness rather than standing in it my entire life. “The Work” is a continuous practice for me, only choosing thoughts that affirm my divinity. In recognizing who I am, I take back my power and the 5,000 demons, while still there, become quiet(er). Love this post and love everything that you’ve sent out since I’ve joined your site. Thank you thank you thank you : )

    • Francesca Cervero

      You are so so welcome Leah. Thank you so much for being here, and thank you for all that you do. <3

  2. Natalie Stone

    You are not alone! Thank you Francesca! Your words are exactly what I needed to connect w/. I’m finishing up a 200-hour teacher training geared to set me up to teach to a crowd (that I thought I wanted SO much after spending years teaching friends & kids at a Montessori) but . . . I’ve decided to focus on teaching small classes & privates out of my home b/c it’s what feels most real & true to me. & yet I feel like I’m failing, that if I just work harder, I’ll want to teach a formula to a dozen or more by way of expertly rehearsed verbal cueing. My demons . . . oh my demons! SO hard to get out of my own way. Thank you for this! I need to get those damn demons to quiet down so I can better hear what my heart is telling me & have the courage & certainty to act on it. Thank you.

    • Francesca Cervero

      Ah, you are so welcome Natalie. I am so glad my words were helpful…And getting out of our own way is absolutely the hardest part. As I always say, just keep putting one foot in front of the other on your path dear. Sending love…


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