My teacher Sara Avant Stover is a shining example of how to be a productive, active member of the community, while maintaining the kind of spiritual and self care practices that allow for a meaningful life, guided from within. She has been an amazing role model for me in “self-acceptance, spiritual depth, worldly accomplishment, balanced family and social lives, creativity, intelligence, and, most importantly, unconditional happiness.”
In the spirit of self care for the new year, I thought I would share with you one of my favorite practices I have learned from her. It is a practice that I refer back to again and again, especially when I am feeling burned out or preparing for a challenging situation.
Sara suggests creating an Absolute Yes/No List. You start by “brainstorming all the things that make you a stronger, better person and that you absolutely can’t live without.”
Mine is definitely a work in progress, but here is what I have so far:
1. Stay connected to my community:
-talk to and see girlfriends regularly
-stay in touch with Mom, Dad, and my brother Mark
-connect with professional friends and colleagues at least once a month
2. Eat three meals a day, sitting down, without rushing or distractions {I am embarrassed by how hard this one is!}
3. Acupuncture twice a month
4. One restorative yoga pose every day
5. Move my body at least 5 times a week (hike, run, full asana practice, etc)
6. Consume (eat, drink) dark leafy greens every day
7. No screen time after 8pm during the week {I get up super early for work (4am!), so I need to start winding down early!}
8. Attempt 8 hours of sleep each night {it definitely doesn’t always happen (again, embarrassed…) but trying for it will be a big improvement}
9. One day each week with no teaching or other work
10. A day of rest after a week of teaching The Science of the Private Lesson Teacher Training
I don’t always do all these things perfectly {obviously}, but when I’m feeling depleted, or going through something challenging, I refer back to this list and renew my commitment to these practices.
With a solid {written down} commitment to simple rituals, self care becomes sustainable. (Tweet it!)
SHARE WITH US: What is on your Absolute Yes/No List?
As I set out to reply with my non-negotiable list, I realized I had instantaneously defaulted into the *list*, not the *self care* list. It had things on it like “walk my dog, pay bills, etc.” Things that “have to” be done. Telling that I don’t automatically think of self care as something that has to be done. So…here’s my non-negotiable SELF CARE list 🙂
1. Sit every morning
2. Sesame oil self-massage at least 5 mornings a week.
3. Three yoga classes per week
4. Brisk walk 3-4 times a week
5. Hot candlelit bath before bed
6. Really look into the eyes of my wife, at least once every day.
7. Connect with my kids 2-3 times a week
8. Couple hours quilting at least once a week
9. Have a knitting project with me at all times.
10. Lots of water, greens, and restraint from sugar (I feel so much better when I follow these guidelines)
These are awesome Tina! And yes, isn’t interesting how ingrained the pattern of work/consume/achieve is in all of us? It certainly is is in me anyway. That is why I have to come back to this practice again and again. <3
I found this very inspiring Francesca and want to publicly commit to the following Absolute Yes and No lists:
Yes
1. Sit for 5 minutes every morning
2. Drink a glass of lemon water first thing
3. Pause, and breathe, before reacting to everything around me
4. Write my one-page journal every night
No
1. Turn OFF the laptop at least an hour before bed
2. Pause before committing myself (to avoid over-committing)
And that’s it, so far. It is, like yours, a work in progress but the very act of posting it here makes it real.
Thank you.
Thank you so much for sharing this here! I was nervous to put myself out in the world in such a vulnerable way, but it does make us more accountable, doesn’t it?? With love from the path… 🙂